At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
