when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
