Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
