I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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