my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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