who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I didn't notice because vodka
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
