I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
