Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
