Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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