vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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