I am in a vortex of obligation.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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