I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
