Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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