You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
