I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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