But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
