Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
