yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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