you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
