I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
