doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
