Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
