Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
