I didn't shave. On purpose
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
