You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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