You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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