some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize