you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
