its not stalking. its research.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
