i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
