I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
