i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
