So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
