I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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