only if we run a train.
done.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
