just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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