She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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