you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
