remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
i need some magic done to my vagina
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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