I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
