you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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