In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
