dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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