everyone is single if you try hard enough
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Found your dick twin last night
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
