its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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