You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
this will be a night to untag.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Two words: blizzard sex
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
