we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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