ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
