she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
