i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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