Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
