you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
