he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
