I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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