so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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