You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
