That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
